Paul van Musschenbroek
ICF Master Coach and Mindfulness Teacher
ICF Master Coach and Mindfulness Teacher
Let me start by clearing this up – a coach is not just a cheaper therapist. Coaching is a different and complimentary service. Although I might be able to wing it through giving you therapy, I will not, and should not attempt it.
So what good is coaching then for people who experience depression? - you might ask. I will use my own experience to explain.
I have lived with depression for all my adult life. Boy, have I seen a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists! Very good ones. They have helped me come to terms with this condition – depression. Through psychotherapy I can see it, understand it, have identified possible causes of and contributors to it, have named some problematic beliefs, habits and triggers, have some managing strategies for limiting programs and complex emotions, and have some practical tools (and at times – medication) to manage my thoughts and help me feel better.
Job done then, right? No. Not my job. I didn’t want to just live with depression, I wanted to have vitality, optimism and resilience. Call me greedy if you like, but I didn’t just want to stand on firm(ish) ground, I wanted to celebrate life. But I couldn’t properly and clearly articulate what that actually meant and looked like, and how to actually get it. I knew that there was more in me, but I needed to find the key to unlock it. I needed to own this piece of the work.
A coach helped me tap into my inner wisdom and potential, to identify and commit to the meaningful goals, behaviours, habits and routines that would affect my mood and self-concept, and to remain consistent through accountability, reinforcement and support. A coach helped me find my own way and build my own capacity to experience accomplishment and fulfilment.
In summary - therapy got me and keeps me out of the dark hole, on level ground. A coach helps me find my way up the mountain, where I want to be, to celebrate life.
I recently heard a story about two friends that walked the Camino de Santiago together. Everyone has a reason for that journey. The one friend's reason was to ceremonially get away from a relationship that had run its course. The other was transitioning into a different life - out of corporate and into, well, something different. She booked a series of three pre-Camino coaching sessions with a life transition coach. In the post-Camino integration session with her coach she said that she felt that her friend had gone for a long walk, but she felt like she had started a life transformation.
Coaching will do that - transform a walk into a breakthrough.
So what good is coaching then for people who experience depression? - you might ask. I will use my own experience to explain.
I have lived with depression for all my adult life. Boy, have I seen a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists! Very good ones. They have helped me come to terms with this condition – depression. Through psychotherapy I can see it, understand it, have identified possible causes of and contributors to it, have named some problematic beliefs, habits and triggers, have some managing strategies for limiting programs and complex emotions, and have some practical tools (and at times – medication) to manage my thoughts and help me feel better.
Job done then, right? No. Not my job. I didn’t want to just live with depression, I wanted to have vitality, optimism and resilience. Call me greedy if you like, but I didn’t just want to stand on firm(ish) ground, I wanted to celebrate life. But I couldn’t properly and clearly articulate what that actually meant and looked like, and how to actually get it. I knew that there was more in me, but I needed to find the key to unlock it. I needed to own this piece of the work.
A coach helped me tap into my inner wisdom and potential, to identify and commit to the meaningful goals, behaviours, habits and routines that would affect my mood and self-concept, and to remain consistent through accountability, reinforcement and support. A coach helped me find my own way and build my own capacity to experience accomplishment and fulfilment.
In summary - therapy got me and keeps me out of the dark hole, on level ground. A coach helps me find my way up the mountain, where I want to be, to celebrate life.
I recently heard a story about two friends that walked the Camino de Santiago together. Everyone has a reason for that journey. The one friend's reason was to ceremonially get away from a relationship that had run its course. The other was transitioning into a different life - out of corporate and into, well, something different. She booked a series of three pre-Camino coaching sessions with a life transition coach. In the post-Camino integration session with her coach she said that she felt that her friend had gone for a long walk, but she felt like she had started a life transformation.
Coaching will do that - transform a walk into a breakthrough.
I've walked this road. I am still walking this road. I have dedicated this next chapter of my life to serving others who want a different experience of life.
|
10 things you need to know right now
1. It is possible for you to be more vital, resilient and well than you have ever been. Remarkably so. 2. You experience depression - you are not your depression. 3. You are not alone - millions of people around the world every day are actively beating depression by doing the work. 4. Thoughts and emotions are passing objects based on a story you think is you. In truth, you are not those thoughts and emotions. You are the Observer of them. You are not your story. 5. Your story has you stuck in a loop. You create a different experience through mindful intention and behaviour. 6. Certain spiritual tools (not religious) are invaluable in beating depression. 7. Behaviour precedes feelings. We behave our way into different feelings, not "feel" our way into different behaviour. 8.Vitality, resilience and wellbeing are systemic - mindfulness, consciousness, sleep, joy, movement, meaningful goals, nutrition, hydration, routine, work, connection, gratitude, service. 9. This is not about the "pursuit of happiness or the purpose of life". This is about leaning into everything you value and love. 10. This is not going to fix itself. I don't want you to run out of runway. You can still take off. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. |